Take Five - Part 1

Almost fifty years ago, Stanford psychologist, Walter Mischel, conducted his famous ‘marshmallow studies’ with pre-school children. In simple terms, children were shown one marshmallow and told they could choose to eat the marshmallow whenever they wanted. One the other hand, they were told that, if they only waited a few minutes, they could have two marshmallows. The children were given a choice between immediate gratification – eat one marshmallow now - versus delayed gratification – wait and eat two marshmallows later.

Years later the achievement levels of these children were studied. What was the initial conclusion?

When they became older, the children who waited for the two marshmallows were shown to have higher SAT scores, more educational achievement, and lower body mass index. These studies eventually led to Mischel’s 1994 book, The Marshmallow Test: Why Self-Control Is the Engine of Success. Later studies found that the affluence and education of the child’s parents and the child’s belief that the extra marshmallow would actually be delivered were highly correlated with the child’s likelihood of delaying gratification and waiting for the extra marshmallow.

These later findings make common sense, rich kids - with highly educated parents - were more likely to be brought up in an environment where the rewards from delayed gratification were more obvious than poor kids with less educated parents. They were also more likely to believe that the authority figure – the experimenter – would deliver the rewards.

Broadly defined, delayed gratification means resisting smaller, pleasurable awards now for larger, more significant awards later.Much of the literature in psychology deifies the importance of delayed gratification. It is linked with all we associate with ‘achievement’. Almost every self-help book is written to inspire you in your quest to attain socio-economic success and to increase your ability to reach long-term goals. We are relentlessly bombarded with the virtue of sacrificing immediate pleasure to achieve long-term results.

The classic marshmallow study has a clear conclusion, the research subject either eats one marshmallow now or delays immediate gratification and gets two. The implied learning is simple delayed gratification is good.
Now let us imagine that the study did not stop but was extended. After waiting the required number of minutes, the child was given a second marshmallow but then told, “If you wait a little longer, you will get a third marshmallow!”

Imagine the study keeps going, “If you only wait, you can get a fourth marshmallow… a fifth marshmallow … a hundredth marshmallow.”

The ultimate master of delayed gratification would be an old person - who is facing death - in a room filled with thousands of uneaten marshmallows! I have done research to determine who reads my books. What have I learned? My readers tend to be highly educated (two-thirds have graduate degrees and over 90% are college graduates). My readers also tend to be business leaders, entrepreneurs, human resource professional, consultants, or coaches.  

Compared to most human beings in the world, you – the person who is reading this sentence – would probably be defined as a ‘successful’ person. You are probably very good at delayed gratification! You probably don’t need me to lecture you on how important it is to sacrifice for the future. You are probably very good at delaying your consumption of marshmallows! 

My personal coaching clients have included many of the most successful leaders in the world. They often have impressive educations. Their level of ‘achievement’ is amazing! They are usually masters in the art of delaying gratification. Yet they, and my guess is, you as well, sometimes get so busy making sacrifices to achieve for the future, that they forget to enjoy life now. They forget to appreciate all that they have achieved in the past. They even sometimes forget to be happy.